Over You
by TwilightPrincess89
Summary: Andromeda writes a letter to her dead husband. She has finally come to terms with losing him. Rated M to be safe. It does deal with death and grief. You have been warned.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Something a little different. I lost my brother a couple years ago. And grief is a long process. So I tried to re create it in this short story from Andromeda. Please read and review.

You're gone and I miss you.

I never meant to put your life in danger. I feel as if this was my fault.

I don't regret loving you, but I think it was my love that killed you. I should have gone on the run with you. I should have never let you go.

Now I have no one.

Dora is gone.

Remus is gone.

You are gone.

Ted you are dead.

You are all dead.

All I have now is our grandson Teddy.

Dora named him after you because she missed you. Remus agreed. I don't think he really wanted to talk about his parents.

I am alone in this house. The house that we built with our own hands. No magic. Back when the world was simple and we didn't have to worry.

I miss you so much that I can't breathe. I miss your laugh, your voice. The way you touched me when we would make love.

I will never forget our first time.

It was the night I left my family. The night I left my sisters behind.

I heard from the reports when I went to collect Dora's body that Bellatrix had been killed as well.

I didn't feel happy about it. As much as she hated me and everything I stood for, and vice versa, I still loved her. You knew that. You always knew.

I saw Narcissa. But I couldn't speak to her. How could I as I saw our daughter's body laying there next to her husband's. I couldn't help at think that I wish that was how you died.

Next to me.

Died together, fighting for what we believe in.

I don't know who killed you. But if it was Bellatrix I would have killed her for doing that.

I have made amends with Cissy. And she has told me everything. Everything that happened.

It wasn't Bellatrix who killed you.

But she doesn't know who it was, and if she did, she wouldn't tell me. The look in my eyes as I asked gave me away.

I remember it like it was yesterday. The day you left. The day you said goodbye. I couldn't take it Ted. I wanted to go after you. But I knew that you would be safe.

I was wrong.

I am a blood traitor Ted.

That was what I told you the day you left me. I told you that I was as good as dead if Bellatrix found me.

When the Dark Lord was rounding up all the Mudbloods and Blood Traitors I told you that I was on the list. But you insisted that I would be safe.

You were right.

I am a Pure-Blood.

But that didn't stop me from loving you. From having a life with you.

Nymphadora was beautiful. And her son is the spitting image of her.

Even down to the bright turquoise hair.

I just hope he doesn't choose bubblegum pink later.

Oh how I miss that color on our only daughter.

They said she died quickly. But I know that she fought to stay alive.

She just had a baby.

He will never know is mother.

But I can hear you saying _"He will know her because he knows you." _

You always said that if she had a baby that she would know what to do because I taught her well.

But she is gone and so are you. I can't stand it.

But I am not scared anymore. Because I know that you are here with me somehow.

I still can't go into our bedroom. I sleep in the nursery. Teddy cries at night, and I think it's because he misses Dora. She stayed here when she had him. She stayed when Remus went to Hogwarts to fight with Harry.

I watched her care for him and she was a natural. I try to mimic her techniques but its just not the same.

I wish you were here to help me through this Ted. I miss you so much.

How dare you leave me!

I told you not to leave! That I would be safe!

But I understand why you did it, because it was the same reason that I turned my back on my family.

Love.

It's the reason the war was fought, and the reason it was won.

Cissy told me how she lied to The Dark Lord.

Draco.

She lied because she couldn't stand to have Draco killed.

I lost Dora, but she kept Draco.

We both lost Bellatrix.

Narcissa gets to keep her perfect family.

I lost mine.

Maybe because I learned my lesson. And she still has one to learn.

I had the chance she never had.

I had love. She didn't.

I have Teddy Remus Lupin.

My beautiful grandson.

I take him out to your grave sometimes. And I tell him stories about you and about his mother and father. So that one day he will know. Know what happened to you guys and how and why you died.

Cissy comes around more often now, she knows that the way she acted was foolish and after seeing how truly insane Bellatrix was, makes her feel ashamed that she didn't come after me. But I told her if she had, she wouldn't have Draco.

She smiled at that. Her smile was always beautiful.

She and Draco come by to see Teddy. We have tea and Cissy holds Teddy. And talks to him, he cooes back at her as if he understands what she is saying. He really repsonds to her.

I never got to see her as a mother, and now I am getting that chance. She is a natural. I always knew that she would be. Our parents were detached and aloof. I made damn sure that I was there for Dora through everything. It seems that Narcissa made that possible for Draco as well. She misses me and we are making an effort to see one another more often.

I know you wanted that for me and Narcissa.

Harry comes by sometimes to see Teddy. He comes twice a week.

We have tea and try to talk about everything but the war. But that is all there is to talk about. But there is a future now, and though it may not be certain, one thing is.

We all know the cost of losing people, and we will always fight for love.

We fought Evil and came out victorious, and we can do it again.

He has proposed to Ginny.

You remember Ginny Weasley.

Arthur and Molly's daughter.

They are going to be married soon.

He invited me. He wants me to be there.

He didn't say why, but I think because of what we did for him. How we saved him, even though he insulted me by thinking I was Bellatrix. It didn't matter when Dora came home after that and I got to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I loved her.

I can see the guilt on his face when he looks at me. He blames himself for the loss of Dora. He was closer to Remus, and that hurts him. But I know he feels bad about Dora.

He feels like the entire war, all the people and families who have lost loved ones and died, is his fault.

It isn't. I try to reassure him, but I know he will feel guilty. And he needs to feel the way he does. Just be left to deal with it, because that is the only way that he will let go.

That is what I tell myself when I think about you.

I see him with Teddy, and though Teddy is only a baby, he is great with him. He is a natural. Like you were when Dora was born.

That was the third happiest day of my life.

When I saw you pick up our daughter. You were so proud and scared at the same time. But you knew what to do, and so did I.

We loved her.

Harry says that he wants children. But he feels obligated to be there for Teddy the way that Sirius never was. He doesn't even know how to be a father, that he is too young.

I told him that he will be a good father and he can have his own children and spend time with Teddy too. I want him to be there for Teddy. I know he wants to be there too.

Sometimes when Harry takes Teddy for the day, I come and sit out by your gave.

It sinks in when I see your name on this stone.

Theodore M Tonks

Beloved Husband and Father.

You were so much more to me than that. My rock. My shield. My Knight in shining armor.

You were my life. I know you didn't mean to die, but you did and you're gone and I have to live without you. I miss you.

Pieces of my heart are not quite whole, like they are missing and gone.

Well of course they are, because they were you. You were a part of me.

I love you Ted.

I have to go now. Harry will be back with Teddy soon. He and Ginny are joining me for dinner.

I can't wait to see them. It's so nice to see young people falling in love. The way that we did. I will never get over you.

They say that I will, that everything will be fine and I will move one. But how can you after 25 years of marriage?

It was a glorious 25 years.

I will never forget it. And I will never forget you.

I love you Ted.

Thank you for everything you gave me.

With all the love in my heart,

Sincerely,

Your loving wife,

Andromeda Tonks


End file.
